A Man Called Ove, written by Fredrik Backman is a somewhat sweet tale about an elderly man who has lost his wife and is learning to negotiate life without her. He also has an very obsessive, compulsive personality, which he had even during his marriage. At one point he mentions that his wife, Sonja, is the only woman can put up with his unique behaviors. The book is written in chapters that could almost be individual essays or short stories except one does lead into the next.
The little plot lines of each chapter are interesting and give you more and more details about Ove and his personality. He comes across like a grumpy, extremely organized with a set routine that he does not line to waver from. A strict set of rules make him comfortable and he enjoys enforcing those rules on others.
Two of the chapters stood out for me. One where is is teaching, Pavaneh, his Iranian pregnant neighbor how to drive. She is flustered by the idea of learning to drive on car with a manual transmission. Learning to use the stick shift, the clutch along with the gas and brake pedals is more than she thinks she can absorb. Ove and Pavaneh are in the car and they are arguing about which pedal is which and how to use them. Ove explains to her that she has overcome so many hurdles and accomplished so many important tasks. She has come from a foreign country and learned a new language. She has fled war and persecution and gotten an education. She is raising a family, so driving cannot be that hard. Ove says, "I'm not asking for brain surgery, I'm asking you to drive a car. It's got an accelerator, a brake and a clutch. Some of the greatest twits in world history have sorted out how it works. And you will as well." He adds, "Because you are not a complete twit".
This was very funny and felt very real. It was much the way I felt both when I learned to drive and while I was teaching my children to drive. Though it can feel like you will never understand it, everyone seems to eventually figure it out, no matter the level of their IQ or their education.
Finally the most moving part of the book I felt was the when he remembering a conversation with his wife. She compares love to living in a house. Sonja said, "Loving someone is like moving into a house. At first you fall in love with the new things, amazed every morning that all this belongs to you, as if fearing that someone would suddenly come rushing in through the door to explain that a terrible mistake had been made, you weren't actually supposed to to live in a wonderful place like this. Then over the years the walls become weathered, the wood splinters here and there, and you start to love that house not so much because of all its perfection, but rather for its imperfections." She went on to wax poetic about the little things that you get used to in the house and it is the same with your spouse. You learn to either love or tolerate his annoying little habits. You learn to work around the things that bother you, or how to keep the peace by not doing things you know anger the other person. This is so true in most marriages and relationships.
So even though this will not be on my top 10 list of books this year there were so very relevant points presented that I could really relate to.
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