They May Not Mean To, But They Do

Here is a novel that explores a topic very much at the forefront of every baby boomer's social conversations.  We are not of the age yet to talk about our own aches and pains. But if we are lucky enough to have parents who are still alive, we are discussing our guilt and the troubles taking care of them as they decline in health and mental acuity.  Being apart of the sandwich generation is filled with both happiness that we still have family to get together with for holidays and other celebrations, but frustration that there are demands on us as our parents age and guilt about how we are handling it. Do we take them into our lives and fit them in between our work and social life?  Do we put them in assisted living or let them age in place at home?  Though you may not think this is a topic for an enjoyable novel, Cathleen Schine has written this story so well that you do not want to put it down. She has made the characters so believable that there is someone in the book every reader can relate to. 

Joy is the matriarch who is going through the loss of her husband, Aaron, as he slowly declines with alzheimer's complicated by cancer and a colostomy bag.  Joy is determined to take care of him in their apartment until the end which takes a great toll on her health also.

Molly is the daughter who has moved the furthest away.  Having divorced her husband, she has found a new relationship and career in California.  She has left her parents in their New York City apartment and her brother close enough to be the one who can stop by for a short visit.  She feels guilty that she lives so far away, but relieved also when she can get away and go back to her separate world.  Molly has a grown son, Ben, by her first marriage, who comes to stay with Grandma, for awhile, after she is alone. 

Daniel, the son, lives in New York with his wife and two young daughters.  Daniel's wife and children give us the perspective from the point of view of the in-law and grandchildren.  They also are struggling with their Judaism. So as the novel progresses Ruby, the oldest  granddaughter, is exploring her Judaism and preparing for Bat Mitzvah.  The daughter in law, Coco, thinks at one point about how this life experience can be used a teaching moment for  her children,  "Coco said nothing.  She was thinking about her own old age.  Would Cora and Ruby want her to come and live with them when the time came?  She would set a good example."  So Coco tries to be understanding of her mother-in-law and even suggests they invite her to move in with them.

To round out the plot Molly is now married to Freddie, a woman who also has a parent living in assisted living near them in Los Angeles.  Freddie and her siblings, of which there are many, have very different family dynamics with their father.  Their family thread, though not the main storyline, presents a different view of family and aging parents. 

Molly and Daniel talk to their parents on the phone constantly and try to help Joy as she is taking care of Aaron.  They try to offer advice and suggest caretakers coming into the apartment.  Joy resists as long as she can until her health is also compromised. From her point of view the children are trying to take away her autonomy.  She is still working as a conservation consultant at a small museum on the Lower East Side.  But, as the computer and technology get more advanced, Joy was being left behind there also.  Her new boss is changing the department and squeezing her out.  "...Joy had begun to identify with her artifacts, out of date, obsolete, left behind."  Joy is struggling with her own identity, still wanting to feel important and needed. 

Cathleen Schine captures that adult child guilt so wonderfully in They May Not Mean To, But They Do.   When I read the title on the bookshelf I thought the meaning would be that parents do something to their children, like making them feel guilty to drive them crazy.  I thought it would be a book that would justify my feelings that my parents have always been the crazy ones, not me.   The title is taken from a favorite poem of the author by Philip Larkin called This Be The Verse which starts out, "They f**k you up, your mum and dad.   They may not mean to, but they do.   They fill you with the faults they had.  And add some extra, just for you."  But Schine turns the verse on its head in the novel and has Joy the mother in this story deliver the line from the parent's point of view.  Her son, Daniel suggests she get a dog when she mentions she is lonely and her daughter Molly suggests she go out more.

"When Joy said her head was muddled and she sometimes was so tired she could not breathe, but so worried about the cost of the caretakers that she could not sleep. Molly suggested she go to the 92nd Street Y's poetry readings.  Poetry.  

They meant well, they did.  But they f**k you up your son and daughter, Joy thought, pleased with her clever Philip Larkin allusion, 92nd Street Y or no 92nd Street Y.  They many not mean to but they do."

There were a few times as I was reading this novel that I asked myself why I would continue to read a book that hit so close to home on a subject that when you are living it may not seem funny, but Schine does try to point out some of the humor in the everyday life that you may not be able to see when you are involved but if you stand back seems just crazy enough to laugh at.  Maybe after reading this novel each of us living with a similar experience will be able to step back and see some humor in our own situations.  It can also be a comfort that our stories are not that unusual.  That maybe we also have material in our everyday lives that could be written down as a story someday.

The Swans of Fifth Avenue

Historically accurate, socially compelling and emotionally intriguing, The Swans of Fifth Avenue written by Melanie Benjamin does not disappoint.  Benjamin has written another fabulous plot based on the real lives of Truman Capote and the women he called his swans.  Benjamin has captured the glorified society and the lifestyles dripping with wealth that Truman Capote was desperate to be apart of.

Truman Capote came from nothing.  He was a sad, bitter man raised by a mother who did not love him.  He comes to New York with so much emotional baggage to find the fame and love denied him through out his life.  It was never enough.  Though he is in a relationship with a someone who loves him it is not enough.  He writes Breakfast at Tiffany's and then In Cold Blood and develops some success and a following from that success.  It is not enough. He creates a persona that is surrounded by and socializing with the beautiful people of New York society, it is all never enough to fill the hole left by his mother's lack of love for him.

We are also introduced to all the "Swans".  Gloria Guinness, who came to New York from Mexico, Nancy Gross whose married name is Keith and answers to the nickname "Slim" from California. Barbara Cushing Paley nicknamed, "Babe", Marella Agnelli and C.Z. Guest.

Babe Paley was an icon for American fashion and style.  She was a major player in the New York society scene attending important charity social functions and socializing at exclusive clubs.  Her unconventional fashion style was inspirational many women who copied her clothing and makeup.

Benjamin uses her knowledge of the facts surrounding the characters in this story to create the dialog and emotions fleshing out the story of how Truman infiltrated New York society and then was shunned by the same company that had so recently included him.  It happens after he writes the beginning of his newest novel, Answered Prayers, which appears in the "The New Yorker" magazine. When his friends start to recognize themselves int he story they feel Truman has gone too far.  That is the end of his relationship with the "Swans".

These are women who work hard to cover up the the person they really are with all their flaws with clothing and make-up.  To project the ideal woman they want to portray to the world of the wealthy class, perfectly made -up, with the latest fashion eating at the best restaurants drinking champagne.

One of the women describes how they feel and think so well when she says, "All those men, those Hollywood men, those legends - how they'd all fallen for her, every one, and she'd pretended to be embarrassed or shy or confused or surprised.  But she wasn't; she had made them all fall in love with her by being her truest self to the point that it became a costume she put on in the morning, mask she slipped over her head."

A beautifully painted picture of the times and the characters who lived this fairy tale lifestyle.  The money that made their lives so easy, exciting and glamorous.  A way of life that has disappeared.

Under the Egg

I picked up Laura Marx Fitzgerald's novel for middle schoolers because it was about art.  I read it before giving it away as a gift to one of my young friends.  What a wonderful surprise it turned out to be.  Fitzgerald has written an intriguing suspenseful novel about Holocaust stolen artwork that will appeal to a young reader and teach them some history at the same time.  The history is told in a careful non -threatening style, that includes the facts simply and subtly as part of the storyline.

Theodora Tenpenny, Theo for short, is happily living with her grandfather and her mother in a two hundred year old brownstone in New York City.  When her grandfather passes away unexpectedly Theo is left to manage the house, the chickens, the vegetable garden and her mother, who has her head in the clouds still writing her PhD thesis on solving theorems, after fifteen years.
Theo makes a rare find in the paintings Grandfather Jack left in his studio.  In her search to find out the truth about the painting and Jack's past, Theo makes friends and leaves the cloistered world she has been living in.

Bodhi is the new girl down the street.  Her parents are both movie actors, who don't spend much time or attention on Bodhi.  Left to her own devices, she finds Theo and her simple lifestyle exciting and they are off and running to uncover the mystery behind the painting.  Their research takes them both to the New York City Library, where they meet Eddie and to the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
Along the way the reader learns about some of the "Old Masters".  We learn about Raphael and the Renaissance period of art.  We also learn about paintings and forgery detection.  Then of course, there is the history lesson about stolen artwork from World War II.  The reader is introduced to the Monument Men and others who tried to save some of the artwork and return it to its rightful owners after the war.

As Theo's world is turned upside down, she learns many important lessons, makes friends, saves herself,  her mother and their house.  It is a very eventful summer and though she will miss her grandfather, he has left her wealthy in so many ways.  A wonderful story of love, loyalty and how sharing an adventure can really cement a friendship even when you come very different backgrounds.

The Extra

A.B. Yehoshua has written a novel that through the story of Noga, a woman who has returned to Israel from abroad illustrates the conflict between religious and secular Jews and with Arabs living in Jerusalem.  Yehoshua is one of the Israeli writers who is thinks Judaism cannot survive without Israel.  He sees Israel's future impossible as it is.  Jews are the uninvited guests who cannot leave because they are also among the hosts of the party.

Noga, a harpist, who grew up in the Jerusalem apartment she has come back to watch over, left when as a professional musician she could not find work in an Israeli orchestra.  She has come back to help her brother Honi with an experiment with their mother.  After a long very close marriage, her father has passed away.  Honi wants to move his mother out of the family apartment in a neighborhood section of Jerusalem to Tel Aviv, where he now lives with his wife and children.  His mother is not sure she is ready for assisted living.  She proposes an experiment that will bring Noga back from the Netherlands to live in the rent controlled apartment while she tries out assisted living.

Noga agrees to the experiment for three months.  Leaving her position in the orchestra, they promise to wait to play Mozart's Concerto for Flute and Harp until she returns.  She leaves behind her harp and does not arrange for a substitute which means she will not practice her instrument for three months.  Her brother arranges for her to be an extra in some television projects that are in production while she is in Israel.  This is to keep her busy and earn some money.  Now that she is back in Israel she is open to conversations about the experiment and also her personal life.  She is divorced and has no children.  Why people want to know doesn't she have any children?  Is it because she cannot?  No she tells people she is divorced because she did not want children.  Her music is her life.

Slowly the plot advances.  More and more information is released helping the reader understand Noga and her feelings.  Also we see her interactions with her mother and brother as they try to understand the woman who did not want children of her own.  At one point her mother,  who thinks that having a child is the answer to everything, says,  “Listen to what a wise woman has to say to a beloved daughter, hear me out and don’t interrupt. Give him that child, give it to him, and that way something real from you will stay in the world, not just musical notes that vanish into thin air. Make an effort, then go back to your music. Give birth to a child, and I will help him raise it.”

Noga has many interactions that bring her touch with children.   In her apartment building two Haredi children from downstairs break into her apartment to watch TV forbidden to them in their own home. An encounter with her ex-husband, who has remarried and has two children.  In her work as an extra she is apart of a greater story but not really a lead character in the moving the plot of those programs forward.   Always on the side or in the background.  Noga is trying to redefine her life and figure out who she really wants to be.


This is a story of every woman's dilemma, balancing children and work, family and career.  Also it is a story of balancing elderly parents and how much the children should be involved as caregivers and how long the parents can remain independent.   The reader and the family are all watching and wondering how the experiment will resolve itself.  it is quite a puzzling story, that the reader must follow closely as it develops to a slow crescendo.

Murder at the 42nd Street Library

A new mystery series has been launched by Con Lehane.  Ray Ambler, amateur detective and the curator for the mystery and crime fiction collection of the New York Public Library joins forces with NYPD homicide detective Peter Cosgrove to solve the murder of a fellow employee at the iconic library.

Con Lehane, who has written a series of mysteries that features Brian McNutley, an Irish bartender, who is along with mixing great drinks and telling Irish stories is a good listener.  He solves crimes in his own series and now appears in the neighborhood where Ray Ambler goes for his after work drinks.  Ambler calls on McNutley for his listening skills and assistance.

In this first mystery novel we are introduced to Ambler and some of the colleagues at the Library. The story begins when Harry Larkin, library supervisor who is sitting at the entrance to the second floor of the library narrowly escapes being shot as a murder is taking place right at the door.  Word spreads through the Library employees and Ambler who enjoys reading crime fiction decides to help investigate.  There is also Adele who works at the library and seems to be a romantic interest for Ambler.  She also is someone who gets involved with solving the mysteries presented in this book.

A new acquisition recently donated to the library of a famous writer's papers has many characters who are necessary to this particular plot line coming to the library to do research.  There is a controversy over who should be allowed to write the author's biography and the candidates for this position are arguing and using different methods to get access to the materials donated to the library. Could this be a incentive for murder?  The plot is further complicated by the disappearance of the famous writer's daughter many years ago and a search by these biographers to reach her first for added material for their books.  In the meantime, Adele has moved to a new apartment and is getting involved with a young boy and his mother and asks Ray for assistance helping out this young family.

This is a complicated set of events to follow, with many characters who are intertwined and a bit hard to keep straight.  Who is married to whom and who knew who in college?  There were a few times where as the reader I thought I had the mystery all figured out,  my killer was murdered.  Though I did realize one piece of the puzzle before it was explained the book itself and the main characters are interesting enough to make me want to see where things will develop in the next book of the series. So I am looking forward to meeting up with Ray Ambler, Adele, McNulty and Mike Cosgrove again.

Murder in Marais

Cara Black has written a terrific mystery set in Paris.  Her descriptions are wonderful and detailed. You can almost feel like you are in Paris.  Her plot line is in depth and keeps the reader guessing which direction the mystery will go to the end.  This is a thrilling quick-paced novel with plenty of red herrings and misdirection.

Le Marais is the historic Jewish district of Paris spreading across parts of the 3rd and 4th arrondissements in Paris.  During World War II this area was targeted by the Nazis when they were occupying France.  Here many jews were rounded up and taken to concentration camps.

In this first in the series novel, Aimee LeDuc, a private investigator who usually only takes corporate security cases, is on the trail of killer, who has ties to the Nazis.  At first its seems she is being asked to find a missing person, but when that woman turns up dead, LeDuc is off on a much more violent, dangerous search. This search takes her into a Nazi supremacist group who are intent on creating violent disturbances around modern day Paris in hopes of disrupting a meeting of the European Union delegates attending the trade summit that is arranged to be taking place at the Place de la Concorde.

One man, Hartmuth Griffe, a German trade advisor, is returning to Paris for the first time since he served in the German army during the occupation.  He is staying at the Hotel Pavillion de la Reine in Marais with all the memories that stirs up for him.  He has a secret he is holding close to his chest.
There are others in the French government that are also hiding secrets.

As LeDuc investigates the murder of the woman she was asked to find, other people she speaks to are also dying unexpectedly. Then she is personally threatened.  Aimee is not one to give in to threats, so she just starts searching deeper.  When the Interpol Inspecteur Morbier , her mentor, is called of the case she knows she is on the right path.  The trail of violence and intrigue will lead all the way to the top of a corrupt government.

A story that intertwines the Holocaust and its violence with the human condition and love.  That balances the results of war with human life.  Aimee interviews older residents asking about their recollections of the war years, a time they would rather forget.  Clara Black intersperses the backdrop of the war and the round ups in Marais against the modern day City of Lights.  And just to add a bit of spice to the novel LeDuc gets involved with a Aryan sympathizer as she tries to unravel the complex circumstances that surround the murder of Lili Stern.

City of Secrets

Stewart O'Nan has written a captivating plot of espionage and intrigue that also gives the reader insight into what life was like when Jews escaped Europe to Jerusalem in 1945.  At this point in history, Israel was not yet a state flowing with milk and honey.  This is a story that gives the reader insight into the relationship between Arabs, Jews living in Palestine, Jews coming over from Europe and all the different groups interactions with the British.  The British rulers control Palestine and have strict quotas for immigration of Jews.  The Haganah and other underground groups are working to expel the British and make Palestine an open state that will welcome all Jews.

Israel is still called Palestine when our main character, Brand comes to escape the horrors of the Holocaust. He has survived but at the tremendous cost of losing his entire family.  He is constantly wrestling with the question; why did I survive when so many did not?  He takes on his false identity and joins the underground for the protection it offers.  He feels a need to give back and make a statement.  This time he tells himself he will not go like a sheep to slaughter.  So he joins a resistance group, the Irgun, a pro-violence, paramilitary organization.  As part of the Haganah their mission was to drive out the British and make Palestine a homeland for the Jews.  Brand is a man who has lost respect in himself. His contact, Asher, seems to believe in him. He starts to think they may be right as he drives members of the Irgun to destinations, also transporting guns and bombs, and taking part in raids.

Brand is not so sure he agrees with the resistance's theory of attacking as a means solving problems. He is entrusted with secret information about bombing buses, buildings and trains.  He is given a gun to carry.  Brand is given a old Peugeot, stolen and refitted with a false bottom to hold guns and bombs, using a false registration along with his false papers is a taxi driver.

He also is the driver for many of the cell's assignments. But there are many questions that cannot be asked.  There are so many secrets.  There are the secrets of identity, everyone has a false name and a new business.  There are secrets of the organization, who is involved or not. There are the secret missions.   He would prefer the Jewish Agency's method of nonviolent resistance.

One of his passengers is  Eva, now known as "The Widow", who meets with various men during the day.  Brand drives her to her appointments.  Eva is a Latvian survivor who also works for the Irgun and she explains, "You weren't around for the riots. They killed hundreds of us.  They broke down doors and cut children's throats.  It's like they went mad."  These weren't the same Arabs," he said. She says, "We're not the same Jews.  That's the point.  We won't sit around and be killed anymore. That's what they have to understand.  We'll fight."  ... "You have to remind them., otherwise they'll go back to their old ways."

He and Eva realize they have so much in common especially being lonely and missing the loved ones lost to the Holocaust.  Brand and Eva keep each other company on the lonely nights, when they are missing their families and their previous lives.

This is a story of the life in Palestine under the British Mandate.  O'Nan gives the reader an idea of what it was like trying to live in Jerusalem with the British and the Arabs, always going through checkpoints and watching out for yourself and others.  Not knowing who to trust, or when there would be an act of violence.  Never sure if one should step in to defend someone else or keep a low profile and avoid unnecessary personal questioning.  These are some of the moral dilemmas Brand wrestles with.

Also this is a story of one man's fight to maintain his principles after suffering such great loss. Caught up in a feeling of wanting revenge but also knowing that is not the right way to achieve inner peace.  Brand, caught in the web of the Irgun's dangerous missions, starts to realize this is not the way he wants behave.  He struggles with wanting to show strength but also wanting to be a righteous person.  This is a story of the complex morality of the people, their actions and intentions.  This is a story of personal change and growth.  In the end, Brand wants to reclaim the person he really is.